20 Nov 2009


Setting a precedent, I’m going to first speak about some that is not a movie, several though.

Knowing that the race toward the Oscar Ceremony is about to start, is time to comment those all movies made along this year. However, I’ve chosen those won’t be fighting with bare fist for any award (probably some will do it for Razzies instead)

The disappointments of the year.

Films with huge budgets and great starlets within that either didn’t reach the level expected or just were a simple crap.

There are cases in which, and despite the quality of the cast, screenplay and director (i.e. Public Enemies); the result in the box was simply devastating from the looking glass of the production company.

Cause quality doesn’t always go alongside success. Is not the first time, and won’t be the last, a movie applauded by the critics is panned by the public. And vice versa.

Start Trek, a lousy movie that made me waste 3 hours of my priceless time, has been one of the blockbuster of the year so far (always awaiting for result 2012 and Avatar would harvest) all around the world although being such a crap…

Having said that, here I display what I do consider disappointments, failures or just simply mistakes during this year 2009 that is coming to and end. Enjoy it, if ye can…

- Dragon Ball Evolution

The adventures of Goku and his crew searching for the Dragon Balls was one of the biggest disappointments of the year.

After waiting years for this moment, countless fans of Toriyama’s anime comics felt as pissed as I did. A movie without plot basically focus on the box (off you go with your fucking outcome), plenty of inaccurate references from the comic and with a master Muten Roshi (no disrespect toward Chow Yun Fat) closer to a copycat of a drunkard Pat Morita rather than the character itself.

They threatened us with an entire saga. After the outcome harvested with this first attempt, I’m not pretty sure if another raid will be made.

- Final Destination 3D

After the success of the first part in box and reviews 10 years ago (with Jessica Alba and the “disappeared” Devon Sawa), this year the third part was released. Unfortunately.

Cause the topic was already hackneyed with Final Destination 2.

- Year One

Jack Black made it again!!

Probably one of the most overrated comedians nowadays. Somehow he manages to mess up every movie he takes part lately. King Kong, Tropic Thunder, Be Kind Rewind… a never end list with outrageous failures within.

- Land of the lost

Speaking of witch… Alongside with the above mentioned Jack Black, here it come Will Ferrell; other of those lucky bastards that somehow are able to make people believe they are funny. Not only that, he gets paid for that!!

Land of the Lost, Bewitched, Boat trip, Semi Pro… Certainly US is a country plenty of opportunities. Otherwise which is the explanation one of the less profitable blocks within the film industry according to a survey carried out by Forbes is still getting screenplays in his hands… No further comments.

- G.I. Joe: the raise of Cobra

Another personal disappointment.

A whole childhood playing with these action toys. And as usual, the film remake of the well known animated series ended up becoming a closer approach to a mix between Matrix, Street Fighter (Denis Quaid was the old-fashion version of Mr. Jean Claud Van Dame) and Transformers plenty of X effect just completely pointless for the plot.

Thank god, Sienna Miller is among the cast making the wait till the end of the movie not just a crocked torment.

- Gamer

Movie which argument spins around a former Special Forces member unfairly in prison that ends up being part of a futuristic war game where blood and death are more than realistic, real indeed.

However, Mark Neveldine (with other “success” movies like Cranck I and II) spoils what at first glace seemed an interesting idea.

Another proof that does confirm my affirmation that the bigger the special effects on a movie, the worse it will be.

- Public Enemies

In spite of being claimed during its marketing campaign as the predecessor of the new age of cop-and-robbers, and a stunning cast plenty of acknowledge names such Johnny Depp, Christian Bale, Marion Cotillard, Channing Tatum, Stephen Dorff or Stephen Graham, Michael Mann’s film didn’t get good reviews.

Neither the public bailed him out. The only way in which a new slip-up within the box office receipts would be avoided has to be DVD sales.

- Bruno

Another attempt from the creator of the hilarious Ali-G and the controversial (that doesn’t mean brilliant) Borat to create a debate within the current US society.

On this film, Sacha Baron Cohen falls into an excessive usage of “explicit” sex footage and the same index of jokes already shown in his former films in order to criticise some the world’s already aware long time age, US narrow-minded society.

Nothing new that is becoming with every movie more and more gone off.

I do prefer by far Sacha’s prior philosophy, just focus on the fact of having a craic.

- Surrogates

More futuristic rubbish located on a future run by surrogates.

Just the fact of seeing Bruce Willis with that wig (as well as happens with Nicolas Cage although his isn’t a wig…) makes the viewer be more worried about in which footage of the movie that rat is gonna came out of his head.


javierzulax said...

eeeeh! I enjoyed watching surrogates. OK, the filmaker did not rack his brain and there was some half an hour (at least) missing, but it is good entertaining.

Anonymous said...

Why are u surprised that the movies u have quoted have been disappointed for you??
have you seen the titles!?!?
dragonball whatever 3!?!
i think should be quite clear even withouth watching them capretta!!